So, I love music, and one of my favorite artists has got to be Josh Doyle.

He recently posted his most recent album on his website free for the download!

Here is a link. Go check it out, it’s great!

Try as I might, I just can’t seem to stick with this blogging thing…

I constantly find myself coming up with new topics and series and ideas and getting started, and then never really finishing them. Or, sometimes, I get started, start a controversy, get into a big fight, and then spend weeks regretting the hurt I feel, and the hurt I caused. Other times, I just say some dumb stuff, and then I find myself needing to apologize.

So, you guessed it, time for another one of those introspective “analyze my life” moments…

I read a lot of blogs…A LOT of blogs. I won’t tell you how many, exactly, because then you might make fun of me, but suffice it to say that I read a lot of blogs.

Now, one of the things that I see running through all of these blogs…well, most of them (interestingly, this problem doesn’t appear to be in the non-Christian blogs, just the Christian ones)…is pride. The majority of the posts from the majority of the blogs I read seem to be driven by a need to bring me some wise new insight into scripture, or some grand new way to look at life, or how I can find Jesus in the mundane, ordinary happenings of my everyday life (I have no problem with this, but what’s frustrating is the somewhat condescending tone it is usually done with!).

Another thing I find frustrating is how all of the pastors and leaders seem to be posting about how I can make my life better, and problems they see with the world, but they don’t seem to be at all interested in sharing themselves with me. I’m looking for something real, something authentic. I’m looking to connect with people. And, the thing is, I think I can tell when someone is trying to sound really good and put on a front, and when someone is really being real and authentic…it’s something about the tone. Anyway, that’s a whole different topic, on with the show…

I’m realizing that no matter how hard I try, I’m constantly fitting into one of those categories that I’m trying to stay out of. For instance, I’m trying to stay humble, but then I get proud of my humility! And, I decide to blog about my humility…somehow that just doesn’t add up.

So, I’ve made a decision: I’ve got nothing more to say. No more armchair theology, no more “humble moments”, no more bicycle how-to’s.

Now, you’re probably thinking I’m going to close this big bad blog (henceforth, the “bbb”) down. I’m not. But I am going to make some changes. I’m not going to blog about a bunch of stuff anymore. I’m going to make this blog an extension of my life. I’m going to share my life with you. Sometimes you may find a rambling, journal style entry of the thoughts going through my head, sometimes you might just see a picture of some silly thing that happened today, maybe there will be posts about something that hurts me deep down inside, maybe there will be posts about things I am excited about…I just don’t know what it’s going to look like. The longer I live, the more beautiful life gets (even in the rough moments), and I want to share that with you, my somewhat digital friends.

Now, I’ve got to make some changes to the system on the backside of this website, so that I can link it directly to my phone (Yeah, that’s right, stream-of-consciousness, baby). I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep all of the old content, or not…I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Now, here’s to the future, hopefully I’ll see you around…

So, I had lunch with a friend this past week. He’s someone that I don’t see that often anymore, maybe about once a month, but we both make an intentional effort to stay connected.

I really enjoy his company, even though we don’t always see eye to eye on everything. The fact is that he has significantly more education than I do in theological matters (he’s almost finished with a doctoral program!), but we are able to respect each others differences, and I know that our differences stretch me, and I hope they do the same for him.

Anyway, I’ve recently come to some conclusions concerning generosity…it’s sort of like generosity on a radical level, and we talked about that a little bit over lunch. We talked about a variety of other things as well, and enjoyed some fantastic Bread Basket food (for those of you who don’t live in Auburn Indiana…you are sorely missing out. They have the best sandwiches and soups.) and overall just had a good time.

When it came time to leave, I picked up the check and started to get up. My friend asked how much his part was, and I said, really without even thinking about it, “Don’t worry about it.”

He sat back down and looked at me kind of funny. Then, after a pause, he said, “I’m really glad you picked up the check.” He went on to say that he has been listening to me talk about radical generosity and was wondering, all the way through lunch, if I was all talk, or if I was going to put some kind of action behind my proclaimed beliefs.

He stopped me cold in my tracks. I didn’t know what to say. The fact is that I was humbled. It had not even occurred to me that picking up the check was an act of generosity. It just seemed like the natural thing to do, and I really wanted to do it…not for anything he could give me, or for any sort of a sense of fulfillment, or even to be able to say that I did it. It just…seemed natural.

Please don’t think I am tooting my own horn, or even trying to do such a thing! I spent the rest of the day thinking about what true generosity is. How many times have I been generous without realizing it? How many times have I been selfish without realizing it? Furthermore, why was I expressing this generosity towards my friend? What were my motives and intentions? Was I glorifying God with my actions?

The fact is that this moment has caused me to step back and completely reevaluate my relationship with God, the creator. Is He oozing out of me? Do I love people because of my love for Him? Is my generosity an expression of His love, or just empty humanitarianism? Am I proud of the things I do, or am I humble?

This

is a very, very, bad idea.

In case you are wondering, that is a foot-long Subway sandwich in one of the drink holders on my bike.

Once again, this is a BAD idea…